Simon is possessed
Can you quiet down? I have to bounce.
Simon said this to Mary and I last night at around 10:30 pm. We were entering our third hour of trying to get him to sleep and were very tempted to just leave him there on the couch and go to bed ourselves. Really – how long could he possibly stay up by himself with all the lights off in the house? Knowing him, he would have probably brought himself to the toy room, climbed up onto the desk to turn the light on, and then get to business.
Unfortunately we knew that leaving him to his own devices does not work when trying to get him to sleep. This has been the routine lately that Simon will take 2 hours to get to sleep. Things were going so well until a couple of weeks ago we introduced him to the “big boy bed.” No longer does he have the relative safety of the crib and no longer do we have the relative freedom to just put him down and let him go to sleep on his own.
When he slept in his crib, he got to the point that we would just cuddle him for a minute or two, sing a quick song, then tell him it is bed time and put him down. Start to finish it may have taken 5 minutes. With his big boy bed, he realized he has the freedom to leave whenever he wants to, which experiments have shown, would be 348 times per night before he became too tired to walk.
So we have been trying something different lately – getting him to sleep on us or the couch before we bring him to bed. At first this worked like a charm – it took a little longer than the crib did but, within 30 minutes or so, he would be out and we could make the transfer to the bed where he would sleep though the night. But now he is on to us . . .
Simon has become the master of keeping himself (and others) awake so as to avoid bed time. He needs a drink, a snack (which we don’t give), another story (just to hold on to), a toy car, his sippy cup, his giraffe snuggly, etc. He kind of reminds me of Steve Martin from The Jerk. Each night he obsesses on any one (or more) of these items – he has to have it to get to sleep. Then he proceeds to flip, flop, and writhe around for over an hour – all the while chatting, giggling, singing, squeeling, and yelling about how it is not bed time, its awake time.
Last night, in the midst of one of these bouts, I asked him what he was doing.
“I’M SLEEEEEPINGGGG!” He yells in his best Linda Blair impersonation.
Anyone know a good exorcist?
I hate to sound like a stodgy old stick in the mud, but I highly advise AGAINST trying other methods of getting kids to sleep. We tried it. It didn`t work . . . they`re too darn smart and they just keep changing the rules to get more and more.
What does work is consistency. Have you seen Nanny 911 where the kids get up all night and jump and run around? And the nanny solution is to put them to bed each time and then hold the door shut. It sucks. It really, really sucks. But trust me, it works. And before you know it, they`re going to sleep when you put them to bed.
My oldest is 3 and we ended up having to use this method with him after he decided falling asleep on the couch watching a movie wasn`t late enough. And now he usually even heads to bed on his own. Oh, and, despite the fury that was unleashed by his tiny fists . . . he doesn`t hate us.
Its funny, Genesis, because my oldest son, Vinny, has been one to bring himself to bed when he is tired. He has been doing that since he was 22-24 months. Of course he wasn’t easy all the time, but I guess we just took it for granted that all of our children would be like that :O)
We are in big trouble because Simon knows that – at least for now – he has us wrapped. I am sure you know how difficult it is to not laugh when your child does something funny . . . well he has become quite the comedian lately.
Mary and I have never (well, rarely) been the “tough love” kind of parents. Perhaps this is one occasion that we need to move in that direction . .
Thanks Genesis!
My dear son, I do remember when it was YOU who would not want to go to bed!! We tried the sleep with us for a few but you caught on way to quick and made sure you had a hand or foot touching me so that when I moved you would, of course, wake and say “where you going?” We could not move you from one place to your bed, ever. But there is always hope. Good luck with my precious Simon. Love Mom/Grandma
Nice story! As parents, we’ve all been there done that and we all have advice as to what works and what doesn’t. Just remember, this isn’t your first rodeo. Do what you feel comfortable with and what fits your parenting style. All the “experts” out there can often be false prophets. I have two kids: the first didn’t sleep for the first year of life and second has been a dream (no pun intended). If anything, we learned that setting up a bedtime routine and consistency can work. If that doesn’t work, try bribery. For example, if he likes being read to, offer to read two stories if he goes to bed. Above all else remember that they must fall asleep eventually but that’s usually when you don’t want them sleeping!
Matthew,
I do not envy you at all. I am just reading your post about Simon’s bedtime. I have two girls, 3 and 4 1/2. Thanks to my wife, we developed a rigid bedtime routine while the girls were in still in their crib. It was similar to what you described in this post. Our routine went like this:
1. Read a story
2. Say prayers
3. Sing a song
Our oldest made the transition easier than her baby sister, but in both cases, we used a baby gate to keep them in during the night. For the first couple of weeks, we would find our oldest sleeping on the floor next to the baby gate. Eventually, she stayed in bed.
For our middle child, the transition was a bit smoother because she had her older sister as a role model. There was only one night where we found her on the floor on the morning.
I look forward to reading how things turn out with Simon.
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I have a simple suggestion. Duct Tape! J/K. Good luck, I have visions of this when we move my son to a big boy bed.
Well, I don’t really have any experience with this sort of problem, but I can tell you that it isn’t uncommon. My sister has a boy who did exactly the same thing you described. It was driving her nuts for about two months before they got it worked out. Although I don’t know what they did. I suspect the boy just got tired and the novelty wore off. So how did it turn out with you? I see this post was back in February.
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